Living others' dreams...

I recently bagged a seat in a prestigious institute. I was excited, happy and relieved. I was on an alltime high. As soon as news broke out that I got through people came up to me... I extended my hand ready with a Thank you but... 'When you resigning?' I went 'huh?' or it would be 'you are surely taking it up right?' before i could answer someone would answer him for me... 'ofcourse yes... she is'... again 'huh?'
People decided to celebrate my success... with or without me!
Am I not being left out here? !!
I was branded a lunatic for not having resigned the next day! I didnt want to resign just yet and decided to stay put for sometime... I was comfortable the way things were...Word spread like wildfire... and I was put under pressure...
I felt as if I am on my own ship taken over by pirates ... I'm walking the plank with chants of 'resign... resign... resign... resign...' aaaaaaaaa!!!!
But I fought... Just the way Jack Sparrow did against that sick smelly thing (whatever it was)... I continued to go to office as if nothing had happened and took no notice of the glares and taunts...

Finally on D-day (which I must admit I preponed by 2 days) I told my boss the scenario... He just refused to accept the letter!! He even wanted a 'tea break' in between our 'discussion'. My reaction: What!! It was a battle so to say, one and a half hours of sheer war... I told him 'Boss...I gotta do what I gotta do... period!'
When I broke the good news to my fellow collegues several hands shot out all at once... Congrations and Jubilations... We celebrated with songs and machine-made coffee...

I had finally completed their dream! Resigned for a better future...

Extreme emotions...

Has there ever been a time when after a particular bout of erratic behaviour you have said to yourself... Why did I do that?

Impulsive actions have always taken their toll on my life, but what baffles me is that in a similar situation the reactions I give to different people is different... sometimes to the extent that I may laugh with one person on his comment but verbally condemn another...
Also when it comes to love, hope, expectations ... expect the unexpected!!
I am highly emotional with a few... every word they say is analysed rewound replayed checked for faults... while if someone else just as close says the same thing i would go... Pooh!
In a fit of white rage I end up blasting off near and dear ones without thinking... Why? Not that I am originally like that... I do not get angry very soon or very often but why is it that I'm so touchy about a few people and few topics...
Calm down they say... dont be so temperamental... U should can your emotions... But what when your mind doesnt listen... When you dont think straight... Then what do you do?

Well as of now I'm calm composed... the stillness after a raging storm :) but I am confused as to when emotions may stir up a Basilisk again?!

when in life I took a plunge...

Life was all bliss, complete and flawless,
No rough waters just calmness and stillness,
The sun was shining down on me,
Bright warm sunshine reached out to see,
Is life perfect it asked, are you happy?
All I did was smile back, eyes sparkling will joy,
It could get better, it wouldnt get worse.
I had everything I ever wanted,
The path I chose crystal clear,
My supports and anchors stood near,
Egging me on to be strong,
To reach the pinnacle of success not far long.
As i reached across to grasp my dreams and goals,
I looked back for my anchors hold,
But all of a sudden there was nothing there,
Just darkness I saw in despair,
I stood at the edge of a great abyss,
I had only one way to go,
The sun had disappeared and dark clouds gathered,
In fear of the lighning I covered,
This is not right things cant go awry,
I called out to them and did cry,
But all i saw was darkness around,
Slowly my mind and heart it found,
I stood there in fear as voices appeared,
They pushed me forward towards the end,
And then in the unhappy darkness I took the plunge...

To CAS or not to CAS!

This New years had a new surprise, The Conditional Access System or 'lovingly' called CAS has been enforced in parts of Mumbai. It was always on our minds thanks to the hundreds of advertisements, from BEST buses to hoardings, the service providers were all over the place selling their stuff but the excitement of the New Years Party had pushed Mr.CAS into some dark secluded corner of my mind.
Oblivious to the scenario, on the 1st of Jan, I switch on the TV and all i see is Udaya and SunTV and the likes! 50 free channels worth a load of shit stared back at me!
Then began the heated discussions as to what to chose... Tata Sky or Hathway or blah blah... Calculations, initial cost, channels to chose, availability, quality, opinion polls.... it was a full time 'BIG FIGHT'... All said and done we zeroed in on Hathway although TataSKY offered better reception quality and service... why because TataSKY was SOLD OUT!!!
A middle class family like ours took so much time to arrive at a suitable plan... why? Because they are sucking the life out of us!
The set top box STB costs a whooping 3000 bucks! Installation charges lie around 1000 while the monthly rent comes to a minimum of 300 rupees ... what does this add to ? A hole in our pockets!
True... you can chose the channels you want but at what price?!
Besides if you shift ... you invest all this again!!
If this is the situation at my home... consider the numerous people staying in chawls and slums... can they ever afford this!
Is CAS made for only the creme de la creme!
The broadcaster wants to increase his ratings, the operator wants to make a profit and the government wants to collect service and entertainment tax. Who is there for the consumers?

Goodbye...

With a smile on my face and a tear in my eye,

I chose to say to you goodbye,
Sleep well dearie while all is sound,
who knows what would come around.
In the book of life there are chapters three,
the past the present and the yet to be,
what the future holds is uncertainty,
0f where we'll be led by destiny;
so sleep well dearie leave all fear,
cos today we're happy...
our hearts are clear.

What to blog..?

It has been a long time since i have written anything (other than an ever lenghtening list of 'things to do'). I'm not bragging but many have asked me when my blog would come out of hibernation. I was browsing through a few blogs to know whats in these days... Hey!! I was under tremendous pressure mostly created by my own mind... which refused any more excuses... no inspiration to write?? ... what am i ... Salman Rushdie?? I know of people who maintain regularly updated blogs... almost ever week new posts are ready complete with pics and all... But most of those are the ones i dont agree with...why? read on...
I really dont understand why people put up personal information about what they did with their friends, how they enjoyed a trip, putting up pics of their friends or writing some nonsensical selfmade proverbs...
Blogging may mean just writing... but what you write must be worth reading... people should want to come back to you blog to argue against your stand or agree with your reasoning not to know about what you did last sunday...

You may argue that your blog is your own personal space to put up anything you want but in my opinion a good blog should give you something to think about ... something to comment on ... something worth a read!

When I look into your eye……

Yesterday, I looked into your eyes,
I knew at once they held no lies,
And all I saw was true love,
Reaching out to me like a free dove.
I lowered my eyes with fear,
That the look may drive me near,
May make my eyes linger in yours,
Make me drown in love so pure.
I’m afraid to open out the door,
Although my heart may want for more,
My mind tells me you may lose all,
And it may lead to an autumn fall.
But then I know I have to let go,
Because without opening your wings you will never soar,
You may not know what is in store,
Because life is a mystery right to the core.
And more mysterious are your ways,
And so my heart to me says:
All that you felt was dear,
Was always held close and near,
Then why do you distance a heart of gold,
The warmth in the chilling cold.
Your simple ways and smiling face,
Have found in my heart a special place,
So do I fear the future,
Of the relationship we have to nurture?
No, it is the fear of a person,
The person who is I,
Because afraid to let go I still don’t know,
What I must do when I look into your eye.

Love to LIVE IN?!!

I was trying to get some control systems into my head when out of the blue my mom popped the question "What do the younger genera (i.e. me) think of the concept of live-in-relationships." A little skeptic as to why I was asked the question so suddenly I feared where this was headed but then mom clarified. Her group of social butterflies were discussing the topic, the origin of the debate: Salaam Namaste. As is obvious they did not infer that it was 'right' or 'wrong' but instead thought that it is the lofty ideas and unnecessary importance given to such relationships that triggers people into getting into them... I disagree!

I havent seen Salaam Namaste so I have no idea how they have portrayed the Live In relationship but I do know that people who get into them dont do so for the fascination or the hoopla about them... In actuality our society silently condemns such 'impure' relations...
Maybe if such a decision was left to me I wouldnt get into one but thats an individual choice. Each one of us is entitled to his own opinions and decisions and I feel that no one would get into such a relationship with so much social stigma attached to it without thinking...
It maybe casual for those brought up abroad or for those settling there but even they do attach importance to the fact that moving in together takes a relationship one step further... It is considered important. Those who dont think their relationship is that strong Dont move in together... its as simple!
It is a new concept, i agree it will take time to settle in but all i want to stress is that our generation does think... the impulsiveness is always there and sometimes it does lead the wrong way but in the end for most of us the decisions we make are thought over... they are not based on lofty ideas or fads or fascinations... they are made considering the consequences...
We do take steps put together by the heart AND mind.

Paheli....???

If you are one of the few who sat through the trauma of watching India's movie to the oscars you will have the same thoughts as i do.... WHAT BULLSHIT???
Paheli was not only the most senseless movie but also the most unneccessarily hyped too. I understand that it is a famous folklore et al but cant you just leave it at that!! Why make a three hour boring movie about a ghost who falls in love with a beautiful mortal takes her husbands place. Then comes a baby??? hello? thats a little too much.. the baby should have been satan or with a tail or a ghost atleast to make it even a weebit interesting... i think there may be a sequel!
All in all Paheli came we saw it and it sucked and that should have been the end of it BUT....

Black should have gone to the oscars for sure it was such a marvellous movie... it had so much meaning in it...it completely touched my heart. What performances...what a story. It was complete Oscar material...

I have no idea what was behind this 'fair' selection but i can surely say that India has lost its chance of getting its first Oscar!!

How dare they....?

Imagine being stranded of FC Road... impossible? I just discovered otherwise...

The scene is like this... considering the annoying nature of the rains my friend and i decided to go to class taken in fergusson college by the wretched auto rickshaw. Its 9 o'clock and after going through a whirlwind of a class we were already a little tired and wished to go home. We do not stay in some other village, just Karvenagar but yet can you believe it 17 rickshawwalas refused us a ride!!

Firsty they have absolutely no right to do that, they are to take a passenger wherever he wishes to go even if its timbuctoo.
Secondly they had the nerve of asking us for 10 rupees more or worse one and a half times the fare...how dare they... it was 9.15pm not 1.15am!!
Thirdly they are so rude and uppish that they do not even bother to reply... they just ride off!!!

All this may seem trivial but it took us an hour and a lot of walking and nerve wrecking to finally reach home... ive learnt my lesson i prefer the lashing rains...

All this made me think...Its the same case everywhere... whether its a government office or even our college students section or the rickshawwalas, bus drivers, shop keepers ...we have to confront egotism and haughtiness...

How are we ever going to develop as a nation if the lower strata of society continues to be arrogant and wallow in some virtual pride!!

Sania Mania....!!

Sania Mirza has caused an earthquake of sorts not only at home but even in the US ... everyone knows her... even my grandmother !! This hard hitting vivacious gutsy girl has taken the US Open by storm...They say she is the mini Hurricane Katrina !! I am really looking forward to some hardcourt action from her... I decided to pen down her praises before her match with Sharapova... why... because the wait is killing me...
She completely wallops her opponent with her strong forehand and a backhand to match. Bartoli didnt stand a chance in the last match (I personally found Bartolli quite wierd). She goes for winners and doesnt hesitate to hit them hard.
Shes a rage with those trendy T-shirts, that nose ring, those earrings and... what an attitude!!!
Shes smart, candid and sassy off the court and a perfect tempest on it...
Lets wish her All the very Best for that big match with Sharapova...
COME ON SANIA!!!!

CATs out of the bag...?

To say that CAT aint easy is itself an understatement... it is uneqivocal certainly that CAT is a levithian task! For those like me aspiring for this coveted exam and the reward later the preparation continues to wreck havoc! My first test left me stymied... what have i not done for the last few months in class not to be able to decipher the intricacies and get through those labrynthine sections. Why does it have to be so complicated... you have to manage your time, your speed, your accuracy... end up concentrating on one and you are left in the middle of nowhere. Yet test after test you must be stoic unflinched and with neverending enthusiasm to get through the gruelling preparations...
God help us!!

Results...?

'Shit what are you saying ? Results tomorrow... Kahi kai... i dont believe you....'
'Areee... result!! what man!!'
' Results... big deal so?'
'Lets watch a movie at my place today according to our ritual nahi tar...'
'Eeeeeeee... im wearing red tomorrow just in case... you will be in your lucky shirt too na?'

Panic... fright...horror... anxiety... apprehension...eccentricity... even lunacy... you name it and you will find it !

Its result time!
What i am referring to is not the day of the result but to those days spent in agony and anticipation of the results, much awaited or otherwise. Rumours are ripe and with the help of some terror-ists with immense rumour spreading capabilities they reach far and wide and not once the 'dependable' sources are disclosed. I must tell you that our third year results were to arrive in our hands every day of the last week... agonised and frustrated many are now reaching the stage of come-near-me-and-i-will-kill-you!

Sem after sem the scenario is the same... wrecking your nerves... making the rounds of the students section where you literally get spat on... discussing... fearing that wretched external, or that horrible paper... yet we never learn do we...
By now we should have known not to trust rumours and not even the students section for that matter but yet...
With each passing sem we are more anxious of what destiny has in store for us maybe now we can gauge the importance of that sheet of paper better... for you may never know if you will turn out a 41 or a 14...
so for all those dying of this pain and suffering ....
ALL THE BEST!!

Rain floods Mumbai 

Water water everywhere not a drop to drink!!!

It is tragic to see what the city of Mumbai is facing... the rain gods have lashed out against the city... thousands stranded without food, dry clothes or shelter, many buried under rocks from landslides and even more trapped in their homes and offices with nothing but the reassurance that the rain gods will have mercy on them some day... hopefully soon.
The lifeline of mumbai the local trains are at a standstill, the BEST is not functioning, the water is too deep for cars.... people are walking it home. People are stuck in their car with water flooding in... a person i know left marine drive to head home and reached thane, his destination 18 hours later!!
There are innumerable such stories of people struggling to get home but for those whose homes are now deep in water where do they go... there isnt dry land left in Mumbai...
And to add to their plight the rain continues.............

Death to the death-eaters

I just finished with Harry Potter and The half blood prince and i am still at Hogwarts by the lake side. For those who have read it you will know what i mean. As you may have inferred if you have read my blog that i am quite an emotional person, i feel the sorrow that i see or read... this is what precisely happened when i finished with the book. I was in the same state as all the characters in the book touched hurt and deeply wounded. For those who have not yet touched the enchanted 6th i shall not divulge into any details because the book is invaluable to disregard its worth and reveal its secrets to future readers. Long live harry potter and his brave set of friends and all the best to them ...

Neglected deserted abandoned........

I cannot believe this day has come. The thought had never crossed my mind that life would play such tricks on me. This is the end, friends do not notice you or want you. When you turn there is no one for miles let alone two steps behind. What do you live for now? what will keep you going ? I can see satan pointing his long bloody fingers at me and saying "That is what you get when you dont blog regularly you ass" Huh?

On contemplating i agree with the big red 'horny' fellow... you get what you give (something like return gifts in birthday parties) in my case i gave nothing so i got nothing...zilch...zero...null. I agree its been too long. Sleeping Beauty must be getting a complex, we share the common love for slumber though mine has been a long siesta from the literary world. I also agree that although i do have my blogger in shining armour who endures the extended wait with patience to drop a comment, more comments would make my day.

SO from now on I pledge my devotion to Blogland and promise to give you a dose of prose more often... what say?

Possession...

I have realised that it is not just kids but adults too who go absolutely gaga over a new toy ( here I must declare that I have included myself in the study under the adults category).
I am a very proud (you may say excessively proud) owner of one of the latest models of a Sony Digicam. Although it has been days since I have bought it I still gush over it like a baby. I didn't know that one could get so possessive over its well being (sounds more appropriate for a boy friend). But all I can say is I am hooked; smitten by that shiny black body, all I can think of is to hold it in my hand and CLICK!
This happens all the time with almost everybody (except for those who have shunned all worldly possessions). Whether you get a new cell with/out a camera or a new awesome comp or sometime long ago your new bike you go through a phase in which all you can do is think of the latest entry in your life.
It just shows how much such possessions mean to us. Possessing something mean that 'belongs to you'...this you gets an identity an importance. Whatever said and done it may mean a lot to you for that standing amongst others or you may just like to concentrate you affection and attention on a new thing... your bike, cam, comp or g/bf.... but then it wears off right...?

Herd of Wild Elephants at Dhikala,Corbett National Park,Uttaranchal 

I'm back...

My absense from the literary world of the nearly famous bloggers without prior notice is certainly unforgiveable, but due to certain unavoidable circumstances created by those controlling forces we call family i had to abstain myself from the creative kingdom. My humble apologies to all.
Actually I was up close and personal with nature allowing myself to be engulfed by the beauty and mystery of the Corbett National Park deep within the Kumaon ranges. Although the cat family refused the proposal of a rendezvous with us in their humble abode we developed a rapport with many other wild animals. Civilisation was something we left behind and even happily so; out of reach from all amidst the forest i found peace (considering i still had exam hangover). Futheron we explored the cultures of the northern regions, their variations, their colours. Returning home after a long soujorn it is good to be back yet something draws me, somewhere deep within a desire has kindled in my heart to decipher the gaze of those innocent eyes looking at me through the deep shadows of the forest.