Missing u...

I want to hold you close your heart against mine,
Hear your heartbeat race against time,
Look into those deep dreamy eyes,
And drown in the happiness that therein lies,
I want to reach across the miles,
Just to see you happy to see you smile,
I want to be there to celebrate,
To thank god for our faith and fate...

It saddens me that I'm not with you,
To share the joy and sing with you,
I want to stand by you through life's trying times,
To egg you on to hold your hand,
I miss you dear my pain is true,
I miss being with you... for you...

Dont cry my friend...

Run my dear, run though the forests and mines,
Through those creepers and vines,
Fight the fear, brave the storms...
Come here dear into my arms.

Dont cry, shed no tear,
Leave all anxiety, leave all fear,
Life's path may be full of ups and downs,
But you will find me if you turn around.

Life is unfair a lot many times,
You think that none of life's tunes rhyme,
When your boat of confidence is stranded in the stormy sea,
Adjusting the mast you will find me.

When you think the world is against you,
Things to excite you are rare and few,
Step out of the dizzy tide,
Come here dear in my heart you can hide.

I will be there for you, you need not ask,
With me you need to wear no mask,
Come to me when you want to talk, to smile,
Come to me when you want to cry for a while,
I promise you dear friend when life ends and we die,
On the sands of life together we will lie...

Goodnight... Sweet dreams

With a smile on my face and a tear in my eye,

I chose to say to you goodbye,

Sleep well dearie while all is sound,

Who knows what would come around,

In the book of life there are chapters three,

The past, the present and the yet to be,

What the future holds is uncertainty,

Of where we'll be led by destiny,

So sleep well dearie leave all fear,

Cos today we are happy... our heart's are clear...

The tempest...

After days of calm a storm brewed,
The clouds burdened the earth darker grew,
The rain gods were angry,
They were hurt and pained,
The seamen had erred and so it shall rain.

They apologized from the depths of their hearts,
As they struggled to steer to save the masts,
As it rained and poured, they asked to be forgived,
It shall not repeat, they earnestly promised.

It was the right potion to win them over,
Love apology and time together,
The gods loved them too mush so,
The skies began to clear, the sun began to show,
The rage was shortlived as it is always so.

The seamen relieved after a stormy night,
Weary but joyous were full of life,
And as I wipe the tears off my eye,
You adjust your sails for a bright blue sky.

I am who I am...

Yesterday I was literally dragged to a Marathi Musical of Song and Dance called 'Marathi Bana' ( Marathi arrow) by my mother who refused to take no for an answer. I was as usual reluctant about any entertainment in the Marathi medium. 'I dont like it' ' It isnt of the level of my liking' 'I dont understand a thing' were my usual excuses... But I'm glad I went...

It was a beautiful performance. All acts were well coordinated and perfected, you were not given a chance to get distracted by anything. But all this is superficial, the performance was a professionally handled, well rehearsed art form. Then what it is that made it different?
It struck a chord... It brought those goosepimples... It made me proud... of who I am... Marathi!

As a child learning in English medium Parsi and Convent schools, English was always the language of comfort. Perfecting English and leaving Marathi far behind was commonplace. So what? Who needs Marathi in this world? It is true I know, and I know my Marathi will not improve but I now believe that more than the language what matters is what you retain within you. Language is just a part of what makes you who you are. The traditions, the customs passed on for generations; the rich heritage in the form of folk songs, folklores, dance forms make up our past. The different Gods and Goddesses, their stories, their bhajans, their bhakti is what runs in our blood... It is our heritage... We were born with links and ties which cannot and should not be severed... Being aware of who you are... of which family you are born into and being proud of it makes us complete...

It is true that today we are very adaptable which is a good trait no doubt, but somewhere all of us are forgetting our roots. It is right to give up orthodoxy and it is right to question customs you dont agree with... But it is also right to say your morning Marathi prayer, it is also right to celebrate Ganeshchaturthi, it is also right to visit your Kuldaivat (Family deity).

Today given a choice I know I will still speak in English, not wear a nine yard saree nor go for Marathi movies but I know that deep down inside I am a Marathi Manus (Marathi Person) and very proud to be one... And if anyone objects or raising a finger at my roots I will draw swords...

Jai Maharashtra!

Living others' dreams...

I recently bagged a seat in a prestigious institute. I was excited, happy and relieved. I was on an alltime high. As soon as news broke out that I got through people came up to me... I extended my hand ready with a Thank you but... 'When you resigning?' I went 'huh?' or it would be 'you are surely taking it up right?' before i could answer someone would answer him for me... 'ofcourse yes... she is'... again 'huh?'
People decided to celebrate my success... with or without me!
Am I not being left out here? !!
I was branded a lunatic for not having resigned the next day! I didnt want to resign just yet and decided to stay put for sometime... I was comfortable the way things were...Word spread like wildfire... and I was put under pressure...
I felt as if I am on my own ship taken over by pirates ... I'm walking the plank with chants of 'resign... resign... resign... resign...' aaaaaaaaa!!!!
But I fought... Just the way Jack Sparrow did against that sick smelly thing (whatever it was)... I continued to go to office as if nothing had happened and took no notice of the glares and taunts...

Finally on D-day (which I must admit I preponed by 2 days) I told my boss the scenario... He just refused to accept the letter!! He even wanted a 'tea break' in between our 'discussion'. My reaction: What!! It was a battle so to say, one and a half hours of sheer war... I told him 'Boss...I gotta do what I gotta do... period!'
When I broke the good news to my fellow collegues several hands shot out all at once... Congrations and Jubilations... We celebrated with songs and machine-made coffee...

I had finally completed their dream! Resigned for a better future...

Extreme emotions...

Has there ever been a time when after a particular bout of erratic behaviour you have said to yourself... Why did I do that?

Impulsive actions have always taken their toll on my life, but what baffles me is that in a similar situation the reactions I give to different people is different... sometimes to the extent that I may laugh with one person on his comment but verbally condemn another...
Also when it comes to love, hope, expectations ... expect the unexpected!!
I am highly emotional with a few... every word they say is analysed rewound replayed checked for faults... while if someone else just as close says the same thing i would go... Pooh!
In a fit of white rage I end up blasting off near and dear ones without thinking... Why? Not that I am originally like that... I do not get angry very soon or very often but why is it that I'm so touchy about a few people and few topics...
Calm down they say... dont be so temperamental... U should can your emotions... But what when your mind doesnt listen... When you dont think straight... Then what do you do?

Well as of now I'm calm composed... the stillness after a raging storm :) but I am confused as to when emotions may stir up a Basilisk again?!

when in life I took a plunge...

Life was all bliss, complete and flawless,
No rough waters just calmness and stillness,
The sun was shining down on me,
Bright warm sunshine reached out to see,
Is life perfect it asked, are you happy?
All I did was smile back, eyes sparkling will joy,
It could get better, it wouldnt get worse.
I had everything I ever wanted,
The path I chose crystal clear,
My supports and anchors stood near,
Egging me on to be strong,
To reach the pinnacle of success not far long.
As i reached across to grasp my dreams and goals,
I looked back for my anchors hold,
But all of a sudden there was nothing there,
Just darkness I saw in despair,
I stood at the edge of a great abyss,
I had only one way to go,
The sun had disappeared and dark clouds gathered,
In fear of the lighning I covered,
This is not right things cant go awry,
I called out to them and did cry,
But all i saw was darkness around,
Slowly my mind and heart it found,
I stood there in fear as voices appeared,
They pushed me forward towards the end,
And then in the unhappy darkness I took the plunge...

To CAS or not to CAS!

This New years had a new surprise, The Conditional Access System or 'lovingly' called CAS has been enforced in parts of Mumbai. It was always on our minds thanks to the hundreds of advertisements, from BEST buses to hoardings, the service providers were all over the place selling their stuff but the excitement of the New Years Party had pushed Mr.CAS into some dark secluded corner of my mind.
Oblivious to the scenario, on the 1st of Jan, I switch on the TV and all i see is Udaya and SunTV and the likes! 50 free channels worth a load of shit stared back at me!
Then began the heated discussions as to what to chose... Tata Sky or Hathway or blah blah... Calculations, initial cost, channels to chose, availability, quality, opinion polls.... it was a full time 'BIG FIGHT'... All said and done we zeroed in on Hathway although TataSKY offered better reception quality and service... why because TataSKY was SOLD OUT!!!
A middle class family like ours took so much time to arrive at a suitable plan... why? Because they are sucking the life out of us!
The set top box STB costs a whooping 3000 bucks! Installation charges lie around 1000 while the monthly rent comes to a minimum of 300 rupees ... what does this add to ? A hole in our pockets!
True... you can chose the channels you want but at what price?!
Besides if you shift ... you invest all this again!!
If this is the situation at my home... consider the numerous people staying in chawls and slums... can they ever afford this!
Is CAS made for only the creme de la creme!
The broadcaster wants to increase his ratings, the operator wants to make a profit and the government wants to collect service and entertainment tax. Who is there for the consumers?

Goodbye...

With a smile on my face and a tear in my eye,

I chose to say to you goodbye,
Sleep well dearie while all is sound,
who knows what would come around.
In the book of life there are chapters three,
the past the present and the yet to be,
what the future holds is uncertainty,
0f where we'll be led by destiny;
so sleep well dearie leave all fear,
cos today we're happy...
our hearts are clear.