Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Living others' dreams...

I recently bagged a seat in a prestigious institute. I was excited, happy and relieved. I was on an alltime high. As soon as news broke out that I got through people came up to me... I extended my hand ready with a Thank you but... 'When you resigning?' I went 'huh?' or it would be 'you are surely taking it up right?' before i could answer someone would answer him for me... 'ofcourse yes... she is'... again 'huh?'
People decided to celebrate my success... with or without me!
Am I not being left out here? !!
I was branded a lunatic for not having resigned the next day! I didnt want to resign just yet and decided to stay put for sometime... I was comfortable the way things were...Word spread like wildfire... and I was put under pressure...
I felt as if I am on my own ship taken over by pirates ... I'm walking the plank with chants of 'resign... resign... resign... resign...' aaaaaaaaa!!!!
But I fought... Just the way Jack Sparrow did against that sick smelly thing (whatever it was)... I continued to go to office as if nothing had happened and took no notice of the glares and taunts...

Finally on D-day (which I must admit I preponed by 2 days) I told my boss the scenario... He just refused to accept the letter!! He even wanted a 'tea break' in between our 'discussion'. My reaction: What!! It was a battle so to say, one and a half hours of sheer war... I told him 'Boss...I gotta do what I gotta do... period!'
When I broke the good news to my fellow collegues several hands shot out all at once... Congrations and Jubilations... We celebrated with songs and machine-made coffee...

I had finally completed their dream! Resigned for a better future...

Monday, April 09, 2007

Extreme emotions...

Has there ever been a time when after a particular bout of erratic behaviour you have said to yourself... Why did I do that?

Impulsive actions have always taken their toll on my life, but what baffles me is that in a similar situation the reactions I give to different people is different... sometimes to the extent that I may laugh with one person on his comment but verbally condemn another...
Also when it comes to love, hope, expectations ... expect the unexpected!!
I am highly emotional with a few... every word they say is analysed rewound replayed checked for faults... while if someone else just as close says the same thing i would go... Pooh!
In a fit of white rage I end up blasting off near and dear ones without thinking... Why? Not that I am originally like that... I do not get angry very soon or very often but why is it that I'm so touchy about a few people and few topics...
Calm down they say... dont be so temperamental... U should can your emotions... But what when your mind doesnt listen... When you dont think straight... Then what do you do?

Well as of now I'm calm composed... the stillness after a raging storm :) but I am confused as to when emotions may stir up a Basilisk again?!